


Forge Sparks

by Starcrossedsky



Series: Bladework [5]
Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Political AU, everyone has a no good very bad day, except sync he's ok with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 13:35:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12190941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starcrossedsky/pseuds/Starcrossedsky
Summary: Luke comes home.He didn't realize how badly he fit there until he left.(Or: No matter how much you want to believe the best of your family, Reality Ensues.)





	Forge Sparks

**Author's Note:**

> SCREAMS AND THROWS THIS AT THE WALL hi guys this is the first time i've broken 50K on a project in my life HOW ARE YOU.
> 
> As a reminder: Not only does this AU deviate heavily from canon events starting [drumroll] about 3/4 of the way into this fic, it also assumes a higher baseline competency in most of the cast in terms of dealing with interpersonal relationships. Comparing Bladework Luke to canon early-game Luke makes this really obvious (enough that my beta commented on it), so just throwing that reminder out there.
> 
> Also, for scenes that I opted not to include in detail - just assume they happened _pretty much_ the same way as canon. That's why I opted to not include them.

Chesedonia is hot and dry and full of sand, and as far as you're concerned there are only two good things about it.

The first is that, because it _is_ so dry, your sweat actually evaporates, instead of making your clothes stick to you constantly the way they do at the height of the Baticul summer. It's actually kind of nice to be hot and _not_ covered in sweat. It's also nice that Anise, Ion, and even Tear listen when you push cups of clear water into their hands.

The other great thing about Chesedonia is that Asch gets on a ship headed for Daath almost as soon as you arrive, and for the first time in weeks you feel like you can breathe.

\----

Baticul looks incredibly weird, looking at it from below. You almost can't believe it's the same city you've lived in all your life. The manor almost isn't a part of it, at least not when you're not allowed to leave.

(From the manor, you can hardly even see the sea, unless you go sit up on the roof terrace. From all the way up there, you can't even tell that the choppy white waves exist. It's nothing but an endless reflection of the sky.)

You are suddenly, unbearably jealous that _Asch_ got to go outside as a kid. Your father even took him to Belkend a few times, from what you've heard. It didn't matter so much when that other Luke was still _you_ , but now that you know...

Now that you know, it shines a terrifying new light on everything. Before Tear showed up, you had never been outside the Manor since the day Van carried you into it. Not even for festivals, or the parties thrown for Natalia's birthday every year, or for New Year's...

It felt stupid before, but now that you've actually seen the outside world, thinking about it makes you angry. And you're scared, because it seems like another thing that points to Asch being _right_. You can practically _hear_ him, as though he was standing beside you at the railing as the ship pulls into port - 

_They want you where they can keep track of you._

You shake your head vigorously, scratching at your scalp in hopes of dislodging the thoughts, the sound of Asch's voice. (Mieu, startled by your sudden movement, jumps off your shoulder and sits on the deck watching you.) It's his voice that bothers you, more than his face - you've seen your own face in the mirror plenty of times, but if he looks like you, he should _sound_ like you, right?

While you're still digging your fingers into your hair, you hear footsteps behind you. "Everything okay, Luke?" Guy asks, as he steps up beside you to lean on the railing.

 

"What do you think?" you ask, glancing at him resentfully before dropping your hands from your head with a sigh. It's not really _Guy's_ fault that everything's a mess. You rest your elbows up on the railing instead, facing the city and letting the wind do whatever it wants with your disordered hair.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Guy says. "It's... a lot. Doesn't really feel real, does it?"

You grunt something vaguely agreeing. "I don't _want_ it to be real."

"...Yeah, I can't blame you," Guy says. His back is to the sea, and he props his elbows up on the railing behind him. "Van and I have been friends for a really long time," he says. "I don't want to believe that he'd do _that_ to anyone. Especially not some helpless kid, you know?"

You hunch your shoulders a little. It's hard to imagine Asch as _helpless_ , after what you've seen of him, after all you heard growing up about how much _better_ he was. "Do you think Asch could have been lying?" you ask. "Or... wrong somehow."

"No," Guy says, and that makes you straighten up a little to look at him. There's a small, questioning squeak from somewhere around your ankles. You know Guy rarely says things like that - usually he tries to soften things, especially if it's something he knows you care about.

Guy isn't looking at you. He's looking at the palm of his hand, curling and uncurling his fingers into a fist and back again. "Some of the things Asch said to me in Saint Binah - I'm not going to go around sharing his business, okay? But there's no way he could have been lying, or mistaken, or... anything like that."

You look away again, back out at the water. It's impossible to not wonder what Asch said that would convince Guy like that, but when you think about what else you know about Asch...

Maybe you don't want to know. It's probably something violent and horrible, just like everything _else_ about Asch. It'd be a lot easier to deal with him (to _dismiss_ him), if you didn't already know so much about him.

But even if you didn't have seven years of getting constantly compared to him, he wants to prevent a war. It's hard to write someone like that off as just a bloodthirsty jerk. And then there's how much Ion likes him - talk about opposites attract. Ion might seem to be the kind of person who's sweet and likes everyone, but even you're not dumb enough that you don't notice that he pays special attention to a few people, and Asch is one of them.

It's so _weird_. Nothing about the guy makes sense.

Speaking of Ion - there's more footsteps coming up from below deck. Not that surprising, really, when the ferry's less than an hour away from arrival. You glance over your shoulder; Ion, Anise, and Tear, not really a surprising group to show up together. Anise sticks to Ion like glue, especially since Asch left, and Tear tries to avoid being alone anywhere near her brother. She seems like she's pretty angry at him over what Asch told you, and you didn't think it was possible for her to _be_ more angry than showing up at the manor trying to murder him.

"Hey, guys," you say, as they come and cluster up around the railing with you and Guy. You turn around to look at them, sort-of imitating the way Guy is propped on the railing. A thought hits you. " - Hey, you all knew what Asch looks like before he showed up on the Tartarus, right? Why didn't you say anything?"

Ion smiles at you, tucking his hands into his wide sleeves against the chill of the sea breeze. "He'd asked me not to say anything, back when I figured out he was from Baticul not long after we met. I asked Anise to keep it quiet, as well."

The girl in question just nods along, so you turn to Tear. She's fingering the knife strapped to her leg. "I didn't know _what_ was going on at first," she says. "But - it's pretty well known in Daath that Asch dislikes anyone asking about his past. I suppose I respected that enough to not say anything." 

She doesn't look at you, but keeps her eyes on where she's playing with her knife. "It was a terrible shock when I first saw your face clearly, though. I think that might have contributed to the hyperresonance that transported us from your manor in the first place." She closes her eyes. "Seventh fonons respond greatly to emotion. You should be careful, Luke."

You almost ask if it's _really_ that dangerous, but you remember what Asch did to the stick in that clearing and shut your mouth before the question leaves it. "Is there a way to - to keep that from happening again?" you ask, hating the way your voice stutters in the middle.

Tear looks up at you then, but doesn't say anything. She seems to be thinking about the question. 

Ion says, "I've heard that meditation helps. Practicing being _aware_ of your emotions, so that you know when they're getting out of control." 

You sigh. "Great. Something I already know I'm not any good at. Meditation was one of the things they had me try to get my memory back." Though now that you know there weren't any memories to _get_ back, it's obvious that it wouldn't have worked anyway. "'Sit still and think' doesn't work for me."

"What about some kind of moving meditation?" Anise asks, and you just kind of look at her funny. You've never _heard_ of that, and it must be obvious from your face, because she continues, "A lot of other fonists meditate, too, not just Seventh Fonists. It helps you learn to listen to fonons - I do it when I'm sewing on Tokunaga." She pulls the doll from around her shoulders and lifts it for your to inspect. "Moving the needle the same way over and over again helps me. And I knew someone in officer's training who threw a little sack of rice up and down in his hand."

"You might ask Jade for suggestions, too," Ion says. Then he seems to realize what he said, and adds, "Though there's no telling if he'll take you seriously."

"He probably wouldn't," you mutter. "I'll try the bag of rice thing, though. I think I'd just wind up stabbing myself sewing."

"You can do it, Master!" Mieu says, in that stupid squeaky voice, as he starts trying to climb your pant leg back up to your shoulder. Not wanting to deal with the pulling on your clothes, you bend down and scoop him up.

"Music might help too," Tear says. "Especially for the Seventh Fonon, since it's the fonon of sound. Something quiet that won't distract you by changing a lot."

You frown. "That just sounds like something that would put me to sleep." You actually do have a few records like that, in your room at the manor, for exactly that purpose.

"It's just a suggestion," Tear replies. 

"Maybe you can combine them," Guy suggests. "You don't fall asleep when you're doing something with your hands, right?"

You nod slowly. "I guess it's a place to start." It doesn't sound _much_ less boring than sitting still in a quiet room for an hour, but there isn't a lot that sounds more boring than that, either.

If you're being honest, just having someone say that there's other options besides sitting still and doing nothing - that other people _also_ can't do it - makes you feel strangely lighter. Vaguely, you wonder if Asch had trouble with it, too. 

Just as you're kind of enjoying the feeling, though, Master Van comes out of the hatch and turns in your direction. The way he's smiling makes something in your stomach sink, but you smile back anyway and wave, migrating Mieu back to your shoulder with the other hand. 

"Master Van!" you say, loudly, so that Ion and Tear, who have their backs to the hatch, know who's behind them. Guy dropped a hint that you should do it with Asch, because he's kind of paranoid, but you can almost understand _why_ if he lives like this constantly. You want to _stop_ feeling so paranoid. "Isn't the view incredible?" you ask, because it is, and it gives you something to say other than wanting to demand the truth from him. "Baticul looks way bigger when you're looking _up_ at it."

"It is," he agrees, with the kind of smile that used to make you feel warm. "Every time I come to the city, I'm reminded of the first time I saw it. You should treasure it, too, Luke - if there's one thing that's a blessing in the loss of your memory, it is getting to see things for the first time again."

And it _sounds_ so true, when he says it like that, because you already sort of know - the first time you saw the ocean at Tataroo Valley was incredible, but now it feels kind of like old news after getting on so many ships since Kaitzur. But he mentions your memory, too, and that - 

That's a lie. Even if you want to doubt what Asch said about everything _else_ , that part just makes too much sense to not be true. 

(And it's a load of pressure off, in a way, to know that those memories are never coming _back_ because they never existed in the first place. You don't have to worry about them anymore.)

You turn back to look over the railing again, so that Van can't see the expression on your face. Mieu squeaks and hides his face against your neck. "I guess I'm just lucky that way," you say into the wind.

\----

There's a party sent to meet you at the port, a commander named Goldberg and a general named Cecille. Things are going fine until they try to put Master Van under arrest. 

"Wha - hey!" you say. "There's no need for that! Master Van had nothing to do with it!" 

_This time_ , says the invisible Asch in your head. Jade seems to be saying the same thing, with a single silent adjustment of his glasses. Goldberg looks at you suspiciously, too.

"He didn't," you insist. " _Nobody_ tried to kidnap me. It was an accident."

Goldberg continues to look at you like you don't know what you're talking about, and says, "You must admit that it was suspicious that he and a known associate - " And he looks right at Guy. " - departed immediately afterwards."

"Yeah, to come _find_ me," you snap. It's one thing for them to be suspicious of Van, but _Guy_? You won't stand for it. "Because they actually care about me - "

"Luke," Van's voice says, and his hand falls on your cheagle-free shoulder. "That's enough."

You realize that you were leaning in very close to Goldberg's face, and rock back on your heels until you're standing straight again. "It was an accident," you repeat resentfully.

"I appreciate the testimony on my behalf," Van says, with a slight smile. "But these are not the people you will need to convince of my innocence, I'm afraid."

"Right," you say. "The orders probably came from Uncle..." You turn back towards the rest of the group. "I promised Ion I'd go with him to the castle anyway. You guys don't mind if we get this sorted out there too, right?"

There's a bit of a silence before Ion says, "Of course not, Luke. It would hardly do for the Order of Lorelei to have its Commandant locked in a Kimlascan dungeon for any length of time, especially with the situation as it is."

"Thank you," you say, actually meaning it, and ignoring the startled look it draws from Guy. You look back over your shoulder at Goldberg and Cecille. "That's okay, right? It's not like you're letting him out of your sight."

"That should be acceptable," Goldberg says. "We will escort you to the castle ourselves. General Cecille, if you would inform Duke Fabre that his son's arrival will be delayed?"

"Of course, sir," the general says, with a salute. Of course, it seems pretty silly to you for them to act like they're going separate ways now - you're going to be taking the same railcar up from the port. 

"Then let's be on our way," Jade says, still fiddling with his glasses. You get the idea he disapproves of your decision to support Van's innocence, but who _cares_ what he thinks?

Once you're on the railcar, though, you realize that Ion has stopped smiling. That one, you're actually concerned about.

\----

When you get to the castle, the soldiers at the door try to stop you, because _Mohs_ is in there. You throw your name around a little until they let you in, and think that you could actually start to like having people take you seriously because of it.

Well, except for the part where Jade sighs and mutters something about "playing politics with a big stick," that you're sure you're intended to hear. You think his snide comments would only be _slightly_ less annoying if you had any idea what they meant.

Mohs is standing before the throne - or at least you assume that has to be Mohs. You don't think you've ever really seen him before, but he's wearing the Order of Lorelei emblem and he looks absolutely full of himself. Actually, he looks full of just about everything, even from behind - he'd be as tall as Master Van if you knocked his stupid looking hat off, but he weighs probably three times as much.

He's saying - something, about the military in Malkuth preparing for war. It doesn't matter exactly what. "That's a lie!" you say, loudly across the mostly empty throne room, leading the group in through the doors. "Malkuth doesn't want a war, Uncle. If they're preparing forces at the borders, it's because _we're_ doing the same thing!"

"Luke?" Your uncle looks startled. He looks much more tired than when you last saw him, on New Year's Eve for the relatively small family dinner at the manor. "Not that I am not glad to see you safely returned, but this is hardly the time to make such accusations."

You frown and resist the urge to demand when that time _is_. "I was just there, Uncle," you say instead. You try to piece back together what Mohs was saying when you walked in. "And there's not some... huge mass of troops in Saint Binah, or whatever. Emperor Peony wants peace. He begged the Fon Master to come deliver a letter to you."

Okay, maybe that's a little over the top, but Ion catches on plenty quickly, stepping forward beside you and bowing. (Oops, you were probably supposed to do that, too, heir to the throne or not. If anyone points it out, at least you can blame Mieu, still clinging to your shoulder and trying to hide in your hair.) "It is an honor to see you again, Your Majesty," he says as he straightens. "Luke speaks truly. I come on behalf of His Imperial Majesty, Peony the Ninth. He sends a letter as well as Colonel Jade Curtiss as a representative."

You glance back at Jade, who is performing an extremely showy bow that doesn't reach his eyes, and Anise, who is hurriedly extracting the letter from her pack to play messenger up to the dais. She hands the letter to - whichever of your uncle's fat advisors is standing nearby. Alpine, you think the man's name is.

"I am honored to be in your presence," Jade says, smooth as ever. If it wasn't Jade, you'd think he had rehearsed it, but he's just like that, you suppose. "I bear an imperial letter from my lord for His Glorious Majesty, King Ingobert the Sixth."

Mohs has locked his eyes on Ion, and he looks like - 

Like your father, when he realized that no amount of tutoring could make you catch up to Before, or make you care about boring history facts. Angry, but helpless to change it, maybe.

Ion looks... Brighter, somehow. More confident, more real. He's in his element in this room the same way Jade is, the way even you have to grudgingly admit that Natalia would be if she was here. 

(And where is she, anyway? She's usually in the throne room with your uncle for stuff like this.)

"Fon Master," Mohs says, and there's a little hesitation in his voice. "We've been searching for you..."

"I am well aware," Ion says, and there's got to be some trick to it, how he says it with a smile and even you can feel how incredibly _not impressed_ he is with Mohs right then. "However, I was never lost."

It's a dismissal, sure as hell, and Mohs has no choice but to bow and accept it, at least in front of your uncle and the others.

Alpine has taken the letter up to the king, where Ingobert sets it on his wide armrest. "I appreciate your efforts, Fon Master," your uncle says. "As, I'm sure, does His Imperial Majesty. Rest assured, I won't ignore his words."

Ion dips his head in a small bow. "I appreciate it, Your Majesty."

"Rooms have been prepared for the emissary party," Alpine says. He glances briefly at Van, which reminds you about the other thing you need to discuss with your uncle while you're in here. "Please, allow me to escort you."

"Thank you," Ion says, "but if I may, I'd like to see Luke's manor. And there is one more small matter - I understand that Commandant Grants is currently to be detained on suspicion of involvement with Luke's disappearance?"

You swallow what you were going to say, because Ion said it much more politely, and you know that politicians _like_ polite. Maybe you should just let him do the talking until you leave.

"That's correct," Ingobert says. "However, by his arrival as a member of your party, I assume that is not the case."

Van steps forward and bows deeply, straightening to stand on Ion's other side. "I can understand why you might have had that impression, Your Majesty. However, I assure you that the hyperresonance that caused Luke's disappearance was entirely an accident. Though I am not entirely without blame, as he was caught in the middle of something related to my personal affairs."

"It's not your fault, Master Van," you say, glancing back at Tear, still hanging in the rear of the group with Guy. She's watching her brother warily, and doing something with her hand - like maybe she wants to play with the knife strapped to her leg, but realized that she was in a throne room directly in front of a king, and thought better of it. 

"You need not worry, Fon Master," Ingobert says. "Now that Luke has returned safely, there's no need to proceed with a full investigation. I'm sure he'll be willing to give us the full story once he's rested from the journey."

It's annoying how he suddenly decides to talk about you like you're not in the room, but... "Of course," you say. 

It's the right thing to say, apparently, because your uncle gives you a look that's almost a smile. "But for now, you should return to the manor," he says to you, directly, and there's a difference in his tone. It's warmer, more like what he's like when he comes to visit the manor - more like actual family. "Susanne fell ill while you were away - "

"Mother's sick?" you interrupt, feeling something in the pit of your stomach drop out, and - 

You never even thought about it, not from the moment you were carried off on the hyperresonance until now. Your mother gets sick often, though rarely in a way that threatens her life, but you can remember so many times when you were younger that you would stand outside her door worrying, thinking to yourself, _what if this is it?_

It's not that surprising that she got sick while you were away. The added stress wouldn't have been good for her. But you can't shake the thought of, what if she had _died_ while you were gone?

(And then you think of Asch, who hasn't seen her for almost seven years, and that makes you feel pretty horrible to even _imagine_.)

Your uncle nods. "I've sent Natalia to her side in my place, but I know it would do her much good to see you returned."

You find yourself nodding furiously in agreement, sending your bangs bouncing up and down in front of your eyes enough to obscure your vision. "I'll go see her right away," you promise.

"Then go," your uncle says, with kingly authority again, and the audience is over. You - barely - remember that you're not supposed to run on the way out, especially when you have Ion and whoever else coming along with you. 

It seems to be nearly everyone - Master Van slips away with a smile for you and a "Take care of your mother, Luke," that you barely nod at, and Jade doesn't seem to especially _want_ to follow you, but follow he does. Then again, you remember what Asch said, on the Tartarus, about how easy it would be to use his body to start the war - 

You wouldn't think Jade _afraid_ of anything, but you don't really blame him for following along after Ion with Anise, either. You wouldn't really want to be alone in the Malkuth capital about now, if things were the other way around.

Tear hesitates for a moment, when Mohs catches her eye on the way out, but she shakes her head at him, silently, and goes along with the rest of your group.

\----

You run into your father in the entry of the manor. General Cecille is still there, too. The welcome back you get from your father is brief and chilly, but at least he _does_ welcome you back. 

That's almost more than you dared hope for.

You proceed deeper into the familiar halls, and run into Natalia sooner than you'd really like. She's coming from your mother's rooms, and stops at the sight of you. 

"Luke!" she starts, and you bite back a groan. You can already tell she's winding up for one of her lectures, and knowing now that you'll never be able to satisfy her demands has lessened your tolerance for them.

"What?" you say. "I just got back and Uncle told me that Mother got sick, so I came right over to see her." _There, are you satisfied that I'm being responsible now?_

If Natalia is surprised by that, though, she recovers quickly. Still, you made her put on a little smile, which means that if nothing else, you've probably escaped a lecture about recovering your memory. "I'm glad," she says. "It looks like Aunt Susanne will recover in the next few days, but the doctors are still nervous."

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. "They always are. I don't know how anyone can handle it. It's so tiring to be worried all the time."

"She was far more worried about you than herself," Natalia says, folding her arms across her chest. "As was I. You couldn't have at least sent a letter from Kaitzur yourself? I understand that it would have been difficult to do so before then, but honestly, Luke."

As Natalia lectures go, it's light, but you still glare at her and refuse to respond. After a minute, she gives up on you and turns to Guy, who stiffens and edges towards a servant door as though he might be able to escape. "And you, Guy! I told you to inform me before you left to search for Luke!"

Guy shrinks back as she approaches, but it's Jade who speaks up from his back corner. "Given that he managed to get to the Rugnica Plains in three days, with the Rotelro Bridge out _no less_ , I would be amazed if he remembered to stop and eat, Your Highness."

He's the last person you would have expected to say anything, so you can't help but stare. Natalia rounds on him and then stops to stare, too - if you had to guess, you'd have to say that an officer of the Malkuth military was somewhere near the bottom of the list of people she would have expected.

Ion slides into the resulting silence as though greased. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Your Highness! Please do forgive Guy; if he'd arrived any later than he did, things could have been quite messy."

The usual amount of polite introductions follows, though you're thankfully not required to participate this time. Natalia gives Jade a suspicious look, but largely behaves like... Well, like she does in front of nobles who aren't you.

Guy edges out through a servant door somewhere in the middle, and you can't blame him. You wish you could slide out that way yourself. 

"You must have had quite the experience," Natalia says to you once all that's over with. "And to think I'd had all these plans about places to take you once you were allowed outside the manor..."

You decide, instantly, that you don't want to know what kind of plans. Probably something romantic and gross and intended to jog memories you don't have, if you know Natalia. "Too late now," you say instead. 

"I'm sure there will be time to show him around the city!" Ion says, the traitor. "I've barely seen any of Baticul myself, so perhaps if there's time in the next few days, we could all go together?"

Well, okay, that would be a lot less terrible than getting stuck alone with Natalia. You'll forgive him this time.

"It would be my pleasure, Fon Master," Natalia says, with the slight dip of a curtsey. "Unfortunately, I really should be returning to the castle. If you'll excuse me?"

"Of course," Ion says.

Natalia smiles at him, and then looks at you. "I truly am glad you came back," she says. "And with your memories - I don't think I could bear losing you a second time."

You freeze, not sure what to say - not sure what you're _supposed_ to say, and by the time you unfreeze, she's left. Ion is watching you, like he knows exactly what you're thinking, which is uncanny as all hell when _you_ don't even know what you're thinking.

"Kind of pushy, isn't she?" Anise says, still turned to watch the door Natalia left through. "Are all rich girls like that?"

You think that Anise has absolutely no room to talk about being pushy. 

"All royalty has its quirks," Jade says, adjusting his glasses. "Going to give us the rest of the tour, Luke?"

"...Sure," you say, after a moment's hesitation. "But I need to see Mother first, alright?"

You've delayed long enough with Natalia as it is. Thankfully, you don't have to try too hard to herd the group through the sitting room and into the back living spaces of the manor.

\----

Your mother has probably not had so many visitors to her room since you were born, and it's that, as much or more than your return, that makes her face light up. Even if Jade sticks to the background and Tear is almost uncomfortably apologetic over dragging you out of the manor in the first place, it's nice.

You realize who Ion reminds you of, with his ability to just smile a little and lighten everyone's mood. Anise is her usual self, too, and overall it's... Just really nice, to be able to sit next to your mom and have her put an arm around your shoulders and feel like everything's okay for a little while. Mieu curls up in her lap, and she pets him with her other hand the whole time, scratching his ears and getting satisfied little squeaks out of him. (At least someone likes cheagles around here. Maybe you can leave him with her when you go exploring the city.)

She's not really strong enough for a long visit, though, so you lead the others out of the room before too long. Ion promises to return sometime, though, which is incredibly nice of him. 

You lead them out to the courtyard, where you find Guy again, helping Pere with the last bit of the gardening for the day. The sun is starting to set, already hidden behind the high walls of the manor, color just barely touching the sky. 

It isn't until you come into sight of your room that you realize just how exhausted you are.

"Most of the gardens are back behind the manor," you say. "But my room's over there, so I've always liked the ones here, I guess."

Anise peers over towards your room, then grins. "Wow, you have all that space to yourself?" she asks, gesturing at the two-story structure, the tea table out in front.

"I... guess?" you say, not really sure what she means. 

"Kimlascans tend to value their personal space very highly," Ion tells her, saving you from the awkwardness. "It's not like in Daath, where the whole family sleeps in one room. Even single-room dwellings usually have dividing screens so that everyone has a private sleeping space."

"Oh, huh," Anise says, glancing at you, and then at Jade. "What about Malkuth, then?" 

Jade shrugs. "Usually the parents will have one room and all the children will be crammed into another. I shared a room with my sister until I left for the military academy."

"You have a sister?" Guy says, walking up and wiping some sweat off his forehead. He leaves a trail of garden dirt across it in the process. "You don't seem like the family type."

"We're not terribly close," Jade says, folding his arms behind his back again. "I'm afraid I was rather a terror to her as a child, and our relationship has never recovered."

"So she's normal?" you can't stop yourself from saying. "That's harder to believe than you having a sister in the first place."

Come to think, other than the obvious, this is the first time any of your travelling companions have talked about their families. Anise mentioned her parents earlier, in a kind of _aren't all moms like that_ way, but you don't remember anyone else ever saying anything about it.

Jade doesn't _quite_ roll his eyes at you, but somehow manages to give off the impression of doing it with barely a tilt of his head. "Yes, I suppose you could say so."

"We should probably return to the castle before it gets dark," Tear says. She's been mostly quiet for the last while, since leaving your mother's room, but she looks straight at you. "You look as though you're going to collapse, Luke. Go sleep."

"Did we walk out with Mother by mistake and leave Tear in there?" you mutter under your breath, ignoring how she glares at you. Anise giggles, and Ion looks like he's trying particularly hard to not look amused. 

"She has a point, though," Guy says. "It's been a long day, you should get some rest. I can walk them back to the castle."

"Thank you, Guy," Ion says politely. "Don't worry, Luke, it's not as though we're going anywhere any time soon. We'll still be in Baticul tomorrow."

You roll your eyes. "Fine, fine, I'm going, I'm going. Goodnight, everyone." You turn and walk back to your room, but stop at the bottom of the steps to glance over your shoulder. They're all still mostly in the same places, but Anise is waving cheerfully.

"Goodnight, Luke!" Ion calls when he sees your face, with a surprisingly loud voice for his size.

And then you slip in and close the door behind you and - 

You're back.

It's almost like you never left. There's evidence that one of the maids was in to tidy up again, not that surprisingly, but everything is pretty much as you left it. You unbelt your sword - a real weapon, not a wooden one, the first you've ever really owned - and put it in the sword stand near the door. Mieu gets deposited in your favorite armchair and immediately curls up to sleep. You kick off your shoes, throw your coat over the chair at your desk...

Is everything going to go back to normal tomorrow, like this room? Surely they won't try to lock you into the manor again, right, after everything?

The thought of it fills you with an anxiety you can't ignore anymore, so you write it out at your desk, the diary a familiar companion. Maybe you shouldn't have written down all your thoughts these last few weeks, since Asch, since everything, but - 

Even knowing that you don't really _need_ to write things down, that there's not actually risk of losing your memories, you don't really want to stop. It's not like anyone is going to get the journal from you anytime soon; it was practically empty, since you get a new one every New Year.

Maybe by the time you've filled it up, all of this... whatever this is, will be over. And Asch and Natalia will be happy doing whatever stupid romantic things they like, and you...

You stop, staring at the line of words under your hand, not really seeing them. What will _you_ do, after Asch comes back?

(The idea that he might not _want_ to come back doesn't even cross your mind. Surely he does. The Luke before you was made for this life, in a way you never were. Even if he's some weird Order of Lorelei military guy now, surely he's still that person somehow, right?)

You wind up leaving off there for the night, unable to finish the thought. At first, you start to settle into your bed like normal, but...

The portrait of Van on your wall. You sit up in bed, staring at it, feeling like it's watching you. It doesn't belong here, anymore. You can't... You can't admire him the same way you used to. 

_Van tortured him,_ Jade's words replay in your mind. _Do not ever forget that._

You don't like Asch, but you don't _hate_ him, either. Even if you did, you don't think you could get that thought out of your mind. How could you? You were _born_ from that, not like a normal person. Not even born at all, really, but _made_ in some lab somewhere.

And Van did that. It makes your stomach do awful things, even worse than the thought of - of killing someone again. 

(Does that mean that you'd be willing to kill, if it meant saving someone from that? Which is worse? You don't know. You don't want to think about _that_ before you sleep, certain you'll have nightmares.)

It's so _screwed up_. No wonder Asch couldn't talk about it without getting that creepy, hollow look in his eyes, had to talk about it like it happened to someone else. You shiver. 

You can't get rid of the portrait until morning - but for now, at least you can cover it up. It's not like you need all these blankets, anyway.

\----

A couple of days pass and, thankfully, your movements aren't restricted. You're free to come and go from the manor pretty much as you please, though there's always at least a couple of maids by the door when you go and come back, sometimes an entire line of them.

You're sure they're there to keep track of you. You hate that you notice and care. It's still nice, though, to be able to move around the city for the first time.

Natalia takes you, Ion, and Anise on a tour of the city like she promised, which is okay. As you expected, she drags you to various places intended to jar your memory, but some of them are actually cool anyway.

It doesn't keep you from mouthing _he can keep her_ at Ion when she drags you to the place where "you" promised to marry her someday, but fortunately, Ion is good at keeping a straight face and Natalia is too busy staring off at the sky to notice. The Fon Master just shakes his head slightly before your little group moves on.

The weirder thing is that everyone you pass knows Natalia - she has to fend off well-meaning townsfolk with gifts four times in the process of roaming the city, and finally grudgingly accepts a bundle of flowers from a man who thanks her, over and over, for the work she's done with the hospital. That by itself isn't weird so much as the side of herself that she shows to them, with none of the bossy attitude that she always gives you. For a princess, she really is polite and humble.

You're still trying to figure it out, standing next to the lift with Ion and Anise, when she comes back from talking to the man and, laughing, tucks an orange flower behind your ear. You make a face, and you're about to protest loudly, but she _giggles_ and it's...

Not terrible. It's really not. If she acted like _this_ more, you wouldn't have such a problem with her.

You fold your arms and pointedly look the other way, instead, ignoring the fact that you know you're blushing, while Natalia fits tiny white flowers in around Ion's headpiece. By the time the lift arrives at your level, Anise is sporting flowers, too, a huge purple daisy in each of her pigtails.

It's that kind of thing that occupies your attention over the next few days, until the morning you wake up to a message saying that your uncle has requested your presence in the audience chamber this afternoon. 

_That_ is enough to put the feeling of dread back in your gut. You didn't miss it.

\----

Everyone is gathered outside the audience hall by the time you get there, even Master Van, who, you realize, you've barely seen in the last few days. Tear is standing on the far side of the group, with Jade, and, after a glance and a wave at Van that you hope looks natural, you turn in their direction.

"I guess Uncle must have made his decision about the letter, huh?" you say.

"Indeed." Jade adjusts his glasses slightly as he looks down at you. It's not quite _looking down at you_ looking down at you, but there's still something significant in that look that makes you uncomfortable. "One way or another, I imagine our time in Baticul is at an end. I do hope you've taken the chance to rest up."

The casual way he says it makes the creeping dread you felt all morning bubble right back up. "You don't really think - " you start to say, but cut off when Tear catches your eye and tips her head at her brother. Right, right. You hate secrets.

"If I assume the worst, all my surprises are pleasant," Jade says chipperly, as though there's nothing at all _un_ pleasant about the whole thing. 

Before you can reply to that, the huge double doors open, and it's time for everyone to file inside. The throne room looks the same as it did when you first returned to the city, except that Natalia has taken her place in the smallest throne at your uncle's side. Mohs is in his same corner, too, with an Oracle Knight standing next to him holding a large, dimly glowing crystal.

(You've gotten a lot more sensitive to fonons since getting warped out of the manor, even if you don't understand at all how they work. You can _feel_ the power in that rock, tingling up your arms like warm steam from a bath.)

Everyone bows, formalities are exchanged, your uncle promises peace with Malkuth, and aid to an emergency situation in Akzeriuth. And...

Your stomach drops through your feet when Tear is called upon to read the fonstone. It's a wonder that you don't start swaying where you stand.

" _ND2018. The young scion of Lorelei's power shall bring his people to the miner's city. There..._ I'm sorry, the rest is missing."

You don't need to hear the rest. You know what it says. Sickeningly, Asch's voice replays in your mind - _the youth will turn power to calamity and be as a weapon of Kimlasca, destroying himself and the city._

You want to scream, cry, run from the room, but instead all you can do is say, in a tiny voice, "I have to leave again already? But I just got back..."

"I know, Luke, and I'm sorry," your uncle says, and maybe - maybe he is. You can't tell from his voice and you can't bring yourself to look at his face. "But even without the command of the Score, we must always go where there is the greatest need. That's what it means to lead this country."

"Which is why I should go as well!" Natalia says, making you jerk your head to her - every face in the room seems to do the same. "Father, please - Luke has so little experience in international politics, and none in rescue operations..."

She doesn't know. Some feeling you can't name overwhelms you for a moment - she doesn't _know_. At least there's one member of your family that you can be sure doesn't intend to send you to your death.

"We have discussed this, Natalia," Ingobert says. "You are needed here. Luke may be inexperienced, but he's already shown promise, and made allies in Malkuth's military besides." He glances at Jade, briefly, before turning back to his daughter. "I am certain he is capable."

"But..." Natalia sounds so dejected and upset, as she slumps in her seat, and you... You're glad. At least she won't be in danger.

Somehow, you find your voice. "It's okay, Natalia," you say, and you even manage to pull off a cheerful, cocky tone that you don't feel. You're sure it doesn't sound quite right, but you're trying, is the important thing. "It's not like I'm going to meet the Emperor himself, right? I can handle one border town. They're practically Kimlascan anyway."

You think that's right. You vaguely remember hearing something about Akzeriuth changing hands in the Hod War, and that was only about fifteen years ago. Natalia still looks uncertain, but she smiles slightly at you. "I suppose you're right," she says. "Just be careful, okay, Luke? If you don't come back..."

"I will," you say, sudden vehemence in your voice, because it's not like you have any plans to die. "I promise."

_It might be a while, but I'm going to come back and give them all a piece of my mind._

You just have to survive this, first.

\----

Everything gets all nicely arranged, which is to say that Van gets volunteered to be part of your group, no doubt to make things go smoothly, and then you're all dismissed to get one more night of rest before leaving first thing in the morning. 

Somehow, you manage to get through a conversation with Van all by yourself, where he offers to take you back to Daath with him. You hedge around, talking about how you don't want to be a soldier - which is entirely true. You're not so dumb, anymore, to not realize that the Oracle Knights kill people. 

If you were, all it would take is the thought of the crew of the Tartarus, cut down on a mission of peace, to remind you.

Van is understanding, patient, offers to take you anywhere else you might want to go, instead. You tell him you haven't thought about it manage to avoid agreeing to anything.

You aren't prepared, when he confesses to the kidnapping. Says that you had always wanted to go to Daath with him, claimed that the experiments on you were for hyperresonance research...

You want to believe him. You want to demand that he explain Asch, then, if he was really kidnapping you to rescue you from experiments like that. Surely, if that kind of thing had been happening, Asch wouldn't have hesitated to say so.

You tell him you need time to think about it, and leave the room with your head feeling entirely muddled. You wind up wandering the halls of the castle for a while, not quite lost, until you run into Jade.

"Hey, Jade?" you ask, when he's close enough that you're not likely to be overheard by a servant.

He looks up from whatever he's thinking about at you, which is better than a rude comment, and probably the best invitation you're going to get to ask your question.

"The bridge to Akzeriuth wasn't down when His Majesty wrote that letter, right?" you ask, quietly, nervously. You want to be sure - you have to be sure.

Jade reaches a hand from behind his back to adjust his glasses - wiggling the side of the frames this time, instead of hiding half his face behind his hand. "That's correct," he says. "The first word of the bridge collapse came after we left Saint Binah."

You nod slowly. "That's what I thought."

Without another word, you leave Jade standing in the hallway.

\----

You're still restless as the sun sets, and wind up wandering the public gardens across from Fabre Manor for a while. In the process of your wanderings, you come across Ion, seated on a bench. For once, Anise is nowhere to be seen.

You sit heavily on the other side of the bench, with a sigh. Ion looks at you, but, thankfully, doesn't seem inclined to make you talk. It gives you a chance to get your thoughts together, while the two of you sit in front of the sunset.

"...I didn't want him to be right," you say finally. "Even though I - I think I kind of knew he was. I didn't want to believe that my family or Master Van would do that to me."

Ion looks away from you again, out towards the sky, and says, "I think Asch would have been happy to be wrong. It's normal to want to think the best of your family, even when everything points to the opposite. I think that's one of the reasons he and Tear get along so well."

"Yeah, I guess they would have that in common, huh," you say, and then, desperate for another subject, you ask, "Don't you have any family?"

Ion looks surprised for a moment before he shakes his head. "Not really - I have an older brother, but we don't talk. Usually, children Scored to be the Fon Master are given to the Order by their families. I have no idea what my parents even look like."

"Oh," you say. You kind of regret the impulse to ask, now. Ion seems okay with it, but that still strikes you as kind of screwed up. Even if your parents aren't really _your_ parents, they were still at least a little involved in your life, instead of giving you up because the Score said so.

Then again, they were sending you off to die because the Score said so. Your father had been in that audience. You hadn't been able to look at him.

"What are we going to do?" you ask, finally. "I can't go to Akzeriuth, but if they're sending Master Van with us, I don't see that I have that much choice."

"Trust Asch," Ion says simply. "And Jade. Between the two of them, they'll manage something."

"Trust the two most suspicious-looking, ruthless guys I've ever seen in my life?" you say. "Sure, I guess." It's at least enough to make you smile. 

"They do take some time to warm up to," Ion admits. "But if you look at what they actually do..." He looks at his lap, his eyes seeming to glaze over. "It would be the easiest thing in the world for Asch to not act, to just go along with Van's plans and not get involved. But he puts himself at risk doing so, over and over again, because of what he thinks is right."

You lean forward, folding your hands between your knees. "You say that, but... What's he really risking? Master Van wouldn't kill him, right?"

"No," Ion says. "I doubt that it's his _life_ that's in danger, at least from Van. But Asch values his freedom even more than his life, and Van can threaten _that_." Ion looks off past you, down the bench, in the direction of the manor. "I'm sure you can understand that."

You follow his gaze, briefly, then lean back again, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, I... Yeah. I get that." You might not think it's worth more than your _life_ , but if someone said _do this, or we'll lock you up again,_ you'd probably do whatever they said.

Ion just smiles a little and nods. "And Van took away his family and isolated him once already. Asch doesn't say it, but... I know it took him a long time to trust me, and once he did, he started staying as far away from me as he could."

You stare at him, knowing that your face is doing the stupid scrunchy thing it does when you're confused. "What kind of sense does _that_ make?"

"To Asch, if he acted like we were close, it made it more likely that Van would notice and... intercede, to keep us apart." Ion _glares_ at the paving stones in front of him, with a force you didn't think he had. "By staying at arm's length, he tried to protect both of us. It's... hard to deal with, but I understand why he did it."

Huh. From how they acted around each other in Malkuth, you would have thought that Asch and Ion were like you and Guy - maybe not technically supposed to see each other, but together whenever they could be, anyway. You never would have imagined that there was that kind of distance between them.

They slept shoulder to shoulder every time you camped, for Yulia's sake. And Asch carried Ion all the time, when he barely allowed anyone else to even _touch_ him. Every time you think you figure out something about him, it turns out that he's weirder than you thought.

"You really understand him," you say. "I wouldn't have been able to figure out any of that."

Ion shrugs. "It's just guesswork. I can't say for sure that I'm right. But it's something I've spent a lot of time thinking about." 

Maybe that makes up for the amount of time they didn't actually spend together, somehow. It's not like you have any way of finding out of Asch knows Ion that well. Even if he was here, you don't think you could just _ask_ him.

"Fine, fine," you say. "What makes _Jade_ such a great guy, then?"

"Why," Ion says, "he's the one who banned fomicry in the first place."

That... That one, you have to think about for a minute. You're remembering the room in Saint Binah again, and how serious Jade was, when he told you that fomicry on living beings was considered torture. The way he said it, it was like it was the only thing he'd ever tell you that _mattered_.

"Okay, fine," you say. "I still think he's a bastard, though."

"You're entitled to that opinion," Ion says, his usual cheerful smile back in place. "Jade would probably agree with you."

"Ugh," you grunt. Somehow, it feels like Jade is making fun of you, even though he's not even close enough to hear you.

The sun has pretty much disappeared beneath the horizon, now. To the rest of the city, it's already gone dark; the narrow band of light still shining on the noble's quarter is the only thing left. You kind of wish that you'd gotten the chance to see it from below; you've seen the view from up here plenty of times.

It might have been your last chance to get to see it.

"Do you think I'll be able to come back someday?" you ask.

"Of course you will," Ion says, watching the sun as the shadow climbs up over his face. "You promised Natalia, didn't you?"

"Right," you say. 

And then the sun is gone. You stand up, stretching your back. "Do you need me to walk you back to the castle?" you ask.

Ion shakes his head. "I think I'll stay out a little longer. Even if the stars are dimmer here, they feel like they're really close, up this high."

"Okay," you say. "Goodnight, then."

"See you tomorrow," Ion says with a smile, turning back to the colors filling the sky.

\----

In the morning, everyone gathers together in front of the castle. You've even got Mieu back in his position in your pack, blue ears sticking out of the side, because you figure if you couldn't manage to leave him behind in his home forest, he'll probably just follow and be annoying now.

...Well, almost everyone.

"Where's Ion?" you ask Anise, who is glancing around nervously. It opens the floodgates.

"I don't know!" she exclaims, loudly enough that everyone else in the group looks at her. "He went for a walk last night and never came back! I asked around with the servants and the guards this morning, but I couldn't find anyone who saw him since then!"

"Breathe, Anise," Tear advises. "I'm sure he's fine."

"But the last person who saw him saw him leaving the gardens - " she waves a hand in the direction of where you sat with Ion last night. " - with a bunch of _circus performers_! You know who that sounds like, right?"

You have no idea who that sounds like, but nearly everyone else seems to, from the expressions on their faces. "Great," Guy mutters under his breath.

"Sounds like our friends the Dark Wings," Jade says, which saves you the embarrassing moment of having to ask. "What a fine mess..."

Even Van looks concerned. "We cannot afford a delay," he says, even though he looks unhappy about it. "The Fon Master would surely wish us to make all haste to Akzeriuth."

"Quite right," Jade says. "Whether it is the Dark Wings or someone else, we shall simply have to trust that they don't intend to _harm_ Ion, and proceed as planned."

"What _is_ the plan?" Guy asks, stepping up beside you. He's keeping you between himself and Anise, you notice absently. "I thought we were just going by ship back to Kaitzur."

"It's more complicated than that," Jade says. "The Tartarus was spotted outside the city this morning; we have to assume that our 'friends' onboard intend to stop us from reaching Akzeriuth."

"After everything they did to keep the letter from reaching King Ingobert, that's not exactly a surprise," Tear says. 

You realize what they're doing - you don't know what exactly Jade has planned (Tear might not, either), but you figure you can play along. Ion thought he would come up with something.

So you keep to yourself, the thought that the God-Generals on board the Tartarus were probably here for Ion. You think the others are probably thinking it, too.

"So what do we do?" you ask.

"We send a decoy," Jade says. "A company of Kimlascan soldiers is already headed to the port; we allow them to board the ship, while our smaller group takes the overland route." 

You involuntarily look in the direction of the coastal road leading out of Baticul towards the Zao desert. "They're probably watching the roads, too, though."

"Who said anything about roads?" Jade says cheerfully, and - ugh. You have no idea what he's planning, but you're sure you're going to hate it.

Van nods. "I'll accompany the group with the ship," he offers. "It will look more realistic if at least one member of the main party is visible boarding."

"Ideally we'll meet up in Chesedonia, then," Guy says. "But if we're delayed, we won't have any way to send word in the desert, so don't wait up for us."

"Agreed. Akzeriuth cannot afford the wasted time," Van says. "The ship will leave soon, so I'd best be on my way."

There's nods around the group, and as he walks towards the lifts, you feel the whole group exhale with relief. "That was almost too easy," Tear says, echoing your thoughts.

"I thought he might want to be rid of us almost as badly as we want to be rid of him," Jade says. "Having to play the good mentor to Luke restricts his movements even more than it does ours. I'm sure he'll make problems for us to deal with at a later time, but we'll just have to deal with those as we come to them, I suppose."

You sigh, and find yourself running fingers through your hair. "So, Ion's probably on board the Tartarus by now, right?"

"I'd assume so," Tear says. "It's not like _Asch_ would have sent a trio of bandits to pick him up, after all."

Anise glares at her feet. "I feel so stupid, letting him walk around the city alone like that."

"It's not just you," you tell her. "I talked with him in the gardens last night. Maybe if I'd stayed longer..."

"There's no use spending your energy on what-ifs," Jade says. "For now, let's concentrate on getting out of the city. Guy?"

"Why are you looking at me?" Guy says. He glances around, as though realizing that you're _all_ looking at him, and sighs. "There's some abandoned factories in the lower quarter of the city that have exits that lead outside the crater," he says. "They haven't been used since the Hod War, so there might be some monsters in there, but it shouldn't be anything we can't handle. The army cleans them out every year for training exercises."

"Perfect," Jade says. "Let's get on our way, then."

\----

After a surprisingly short railcar trip, you arrive at the abandoned factory that Guy's sure has a way through. It's dark and musty, and left to your own devices you'd never step foot in it if you could help it. A smear of oil coats your fingers when you touch a rail on your way out of the car, and rusty metal grating jangles and clatters under your feet with every step. 

"Ugh," you say. "I don't suppose anyone brought a light?"

"Let me, Master!" Mieu says, jumping out of your bag and spitting a small ball of fire. It shoots off into the darkness, and by some insane amount of luck, ignites an oil droplet that falls into a barrel. The result provides _more_ than enough light, at least in this part of the factory - you can tell that the room is a lot larger than you originally thought, practically a cavern.

Still, you can't help the way anxiety spiked through you at the first sight of the flame, and you flick the cheagle hard in the forehead. "Stupid Thing. Warn people before you do that. Otherwise you'll wind up setting another forest on fire, you know?"

Mieu whines for a minute, rubbing his forehead, but you let him climb back onto your shoulder before you stand back up. At least you can see now, anxiety-inducing cheagles or not. You catch Tear frowning at you, but she doesn't say anything.

"Lead the way," Jade says to Guy, and the blond sighs before heading you off into the darkness.

There's a number of lifts and elevators in the factory itself, half of which need to be repaired before they'll work properly - you're really grateful that you have Guy along, at that point, because you know you can't make heads or tails of how any of this works. 

It's when you're paused for him to take care of one of those, flames flickering in another nearby barrel, that you hear the footsteps on the metal floor. You spin around, expecting another monster, a hand on your sword, but - 

"Natalia?" you say, staring at your cousin in disbelief. "What are _you_ doing here?"

At least she's wearing something other than a _gown_ for once, though the white and teal isn't really practical for travelling. (Your white coat isn't much better, but at least the rest of your clothes will be fine if you get dirt on them.)

She puts her hands on her hips and glares at you. "I'm coming along, of course. I don't know _what_ Father was thinking, but you're not ready for such a big responsibility!"

You know what Ingobert was thinking. By the glance you share with Tear and Guy, it's obvious to them, too. Anise just looks mad about Natalia volunteering herself along, and from the way she's balled her hands up, she might say something about it really soon. Only Jade remains his usual, unruffled self.

"Maybe _you_ don't think I can handle it," you say, "but you don't think I can handle _anything_."

"Not in _politics_ ," she says. "I'll grant that your fighting skills have improved remarkably with practical experience - "

"Experience she doesn't have," Anise mutters, loudly enough that you're sure Natalia is intended to hear. 

" - But you're not ready to represent Kimlasca in international affairs!" Natalia continues loudly, as though Anise hadn't spoken. "If you had put effort into your tutoring since you lost your memory, that would be one thing, but - "

"Would you _shut up_ about my memory?!" you snap. It's practically a yell, really, and it makes Natalia fall silent long enough for you to keep going. "It's all you ever talk about! It's like - it's like the person I am now doesn't matter to you at all!"

She stares at you. You can feel that everyone is staring at you, can hear Guy's muttered, "Luke..." behind you. 

It's hard to care. You're just... fed up with it. When you look back at it, you're amazed you put up with it for seven years. Maybe, when you thought you actually had lost your memories, it was possible to think that she might be _right_ , that you'd get them back someday and everything would be okay.

Now you feel stupid for ever thinking that way. Even if your memories had come back - Asch was ten when he was kidnapped. A ten year old's memories wouldn't be enough to make Natalia or your father or _anyone_ happy.

You turn away. "Fine," you say. "You can come. Because you know what? I'm going to let _Asch_ deal with you. The way you walk around like you know everything - you deserve each other."

With that, you stomp off around to the other side of the lift Guy's working on, daring anyone to follow you.

\----

Of course, it doesn't actually stop there. Natalia is aware enough of the Oracle Knights military to figure out who you're referring to, but she's met with as much gloomy silence as if she was asking the factory walls. The others don't seem to want to speak to you, either, except for Anise, who mutters, "Passing her off on Asch? Really? That's a little harsh," when she knows you'll hear.

Whatever. 

At least Natalia _does_ pull her weight - you've known for a while that she was a good archer, but it's having another healer to take the pressure off Tear that really helps. Still, having to be rescued from monsters a couple times seems to knock her down a peg or two, too.

At least you can feel smug that _you_ don't need to be rescued anymore. You really are getting stronger.

(Not strong enough, fast enough, but maybe... Much as you hate to admit it, the tips Asch gave you really do help.)

Soon, you're close enough to the emergency exit Guy was talking about to hear the pounding of an afternoon rain, one that hopefully won't turn into one of the intense storms that can sweep the coast in the fall. If there was one coming, surely the weather Scorers would have informed your uncle and you would have seen preparations for it, right?

Either way, the rain is pounding, and just beyond the ladder down the wall of the crater...

"Look," Guy says aloud, to the rest of the group behind you. "It's the Tartarus."

Sure enough, the land dreadnaught is tucked against the wall of the crater, with the hatch door facing you. Distantly, you can see the figures of guards on either side of it.

"Should we stay up here?" Tear asks. "They're less likely to notice us."

"But Ion could be down there!" Anise protests.

"There's no point in staying here," Jade says. "We have no idea how long they intend to stay, after all, and our supplies are limited. We should be able to avoid them if we stick close to the crater wall and keep our wits about us."

You look at the rocks scattered around the base of the crater, and nod. "Right. Okay. I'll go first, then." You're closest to the ladder, anyway.

When Tear and Guy are down, and Jade descending, you see a green-haired figure in black walk over to talk to the guards at the hatch. When everyone but Natalia is down, you see a spot of white in the rain, and automatically grab Anise's shoulder before she does anything stupid.

"Is that..." Guy says.

"Let's see if we can get closer," Jade says, as Natalia drops to the ground behind him. "We might yet be able to extract our wayward Fon Master."

Anise grumbles under her breath, so you wait until she nods to release her shoulder. "Tear, can you do the sleep hymn at the guards again?" you ask.

"I can try," she says. "If I get close enough that they can hear me. But it's harder on people who are already alert - it might slow them down a little, but that's probably all. And I doubt it will work on Sync."

When you're almost close enough - a flash of red, out of the corner of your eye. You turn automatically toward it, your own hair streaking down between your eyes in the rain.

How the hell did Asch even _get_ here?

He's fast; he runs faster than you would risk trying, over the uneven ground. But, amazingly, Sync is faster, a whirlwind of limbs. No wonder Asch thought he was so dangerous. The idea of someone taking on a swordsman like Asch with nothing but their hands and feet and _winning_ seems impossible, and yet - 

"We have to help him!" Anise says. This time it's Jade who holds her back.

"Given that Van still has some plan for him," he says, "it's unlikely that Sync will kill or even seriously injure Asch. We should take this chance to concentrate on Ion."

Tear nods. "Asch can take care of himself. We need to get across that open ground." She looks at the space between your group and the ship - with Sync distracted, there's only a handful of guards between you and Ion, who is turned to watch the battling God-Generals.

"On my signal..." Jade says. You put a hand on your sword. (You don't have to _kill_ the guards, you tell yourself. Just distract them so that Ion can get away.) Behind you, you hear the pull of Natalia's bow being drawn. "Now!"

You run. Sword swung out in front of you, you charge the guard on the right, behind Ion. Before you can reach him, though, you hear the sound of gunfire, like a far louder rain, and have to slide to a sudden stop as bullets spray the ground in front of you. Beside you, you see Anise, mounted on her doll, sliding to the same stop.

The only thing that risks that wall of bullets is Natalia's arrow, which blows past your head into the throat of the guard you were charging. You can't help but flinch and look away as he crumples.

"Get the Fon Master aboard!" Legretta's voice orders over the rain. The standing guard grabs Ion's arm, roughly, and starts hauling him up the ramp. "Sync - keep them busy!"

"What do you _think_ I was doing?" the boy calls back in her direction, before jumping and swinging a - barely blocked - kick at Asch's face. He manages to vault _off_ the sword somehow, flipping backwards and coming your way. His voice is a sneer, and something about it - it's _wrong_ , and it puts your hackles up. "Sorry, Asch, can't play around with you today." 

"Give Ion _back_!" you shout, closing in on him. You know you're out of your league, but you raise your sword anyway - not that it does much good.You can tell even with the mask in the way that Sync doesn't even _look_ at you - when he lands, it's to immediately launch into some kind of arte, a spiral of fonons and stone that knocks you on your ass. 

" _Luke_!" Ion shouts from halfway up the ramp, and suddenly he sounds his age, and scared, like he doesn't know what to do. 

Time seems to slow down for a moment; Sync is standing over you, his hand crackling with energy, the trace of a smirk on what you can see of his face. "How _cute_ , the puppets care about each other," he says. You hear everyone else's movements stop, all of you holding your breath. You don't dare turn your head to see what they're doing.

Behind him, Ion jerks free of the Oracle Knight's grip, and jumps over the edge of the ramp. His landing is rough, staining the bottoms of his robes with mud - it's clear he's more winded than he expected, but his voice still carries. "Sync, stop! Don't hurt him!"

Sync laughs, tilting his head back just a little - you can see under the mask, up almost to his eyes, and it occurs to you that the face underneath is very familiar. "Or what?" he says to Ion over his shoulder, mocking. "What is it you think you can do? You're _weak_."

Ion stands, shakily, his plans pressed into his knees to help support himself. "Van wants me to open the Daathic seals, right?" he says. "He doesn't have anyone else who can do it." His gaze, though it was on you at first, is entirely on Sync now, making eye contact in spite of the mask.

"Don't you dare - " Asch starts to say, but a look from Ion leaves him standing in silence. 

Sync makes a _tch_ sound. "So that's it, huh? Let them live, and you'll play along like a good little puppet?" He steps away from you, the fonons around his hand dissipating into the air. "Fine, sounds like a good deal to me." He steps away, glancing over his shoulder at you only once. You haven't been able to make yourself move.

"I mean, that one's going to die soon anyway. _Buuuuut_ if you want to waste your energy on him..."

Ion looks at you, then looks away. Asch takes an aborted step towards him, stops again when Ion looks back up.

"Please," he says. "If I can't do anything else... Let me do this." Then he faces Sync fully, takes a step towards him. They're the same height, you realize, and with the rain plastering Sync's hair to his mask, he almost looks like...

 _No._ No way in hell. That would be crazy.

"If any of them are harmed," Ion says, "then my offer of cooperation is waived. Agreed?"

"Hmph. Agreed, but only as long as they stay out of our way," Sync says. The mask shifts as he looks at Asch. "That means you, _charred remains_."

You flinch. Asch doesn't. "I'm not stupid," he says, shaking the rain from his sword before sheathing it.

Ion's shoulders slump. "Stay safe," he says. "And... I'll see you soon."

Without another word, he turns and runs up the ramp, leaving muddy footprints. Sync glances around at you all one more time before following. Nobody else moves, until the Tartarus is rumbling and moving away.

By then, the rain is slowing. As though a spell were broken, you find yourself able to move again - Guy is at your side, and you let him help you up.You look around the others - no one seems to be hurt, at least. Jade is watching the Tartarus, his hand held up to keep his rain-splattered glasses in place. Natalia is staring at Asch, her bow clutched tightly in her hands.

When you look back at Asch, he's slid to his knees in the dirt, one fist still in a crater of mud.

\----

No one says much of anything until the rain is well and truly gone, the first breaks revealing late-afternoon sun. You're exhausted and covered in mud - even if you could get dry, you'd still have to deal with dirt in every crevice of your clothing.

"Don't bother," Asch says, when he catches you looking hopefully in the direction of the nearby beach and fingering the edge of a patch of mud on your pants. "You'd just be trading it for sand."

"Ugh," you mutter. "Stop being right about everything." Your only consolation is that he's as coated in mud as you are, and clearly, from the way his hands twitch, trying to resist the impulse to straighten his hair with filthy fingers.

Of course, as soon as you think that, he starts to peel off his stupidly long gloves, revealing long, black, mostly clean sleeves. Your arms itch where the mud is starting to dry on your skin. Cheater.

"Is anyone going to explain to me what is going _on_?" Natalia demands, now that the silence is broken. Her furious gaze goes back and forth between you and Asch in particular.

You're really tempted to say _no_ , but then she'd probably _really_ throw a fit.

"At least give them a few minutes to themselves," Guy says, his tone placating. "Can't you see how upset everyone is - Asch especially?"

It's clearly the wrong thing to say, because Natalia rounds on him, hands on her hips, and she steps forward and leans in until Guy is forced to back down and flinch away. And _that_ , in turn, provokes a reaction out of Asch.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demands, grabbing Natalia's shoulder with a bare but not quite clean hand and yanking her away from Guy hard enough that she stumbles. "It was one thing when we were _children_ , but you're nineteen! That's a bit old for childish intimidation tactics when someone tells you something you don't like!"

Whether it's at the touch, the casual reference to 'your' lost memories, or the fact that someone's actually told her off for once, Natalia is left gaping when Asch releases her shoulder. "You're..." she starts, and fails to finish.

Asch pointedly looks away from her, starting to straighten his hair with his fingers. "I thought you were better than that," he says quietly.

For a moment, silence reigns again. Then Anise - seated on a rock where she's been squeezing water out of her hair and Tokunaga in turns - says, "So.. What do we do now?"

Jade sighs. "By now, His Majesty's forces should have arrived at Akzeriuth. The civilians will be evacuated by the time Van and the Kimlascans arrive, with any luck."

Natalia turns to him, still wide-eyed. "But - wait, the letter - I thought the Malkuth military couldn't reach Akzeriuth!"

"A convenient lie," Jade says, sounding bored. "Your father never let you see the letter itself, did he?" Natalia freezes, then shakes her head. "I thought not."

"The bridge to Akzeriuth didn't go out until after we passed through Saint Binah," Tear explains, a touch more gently. "There's no way His Majesty could have written about it in the letter we brought."

"Fortunately, thanks to Asch, I was able to warn His Majesty in time. The people of Akzeriuth won't be sacrificed if we have anything to say about it." Again, Jade sighs, adjusting his glasses. "On the other hand, there's still the fact that a Kimlascan force intends to cross the border there, with the Order's blessing. We may have won that battle, but I'm afraid the war is about to begin anyway."

"But - " you start, and then stop, getting your thoughts in order. "Even after everything we did - I thought the war couldn't start as long as me and Asch stayed out of Akzeriuth!"

Tear shakes her head. "Jade's right. Mohs and Ingobert are so hungry for an excuse at this point that war is inevitable. Even if we manage to avoid the Score - " She looks over at Asch, who has mostly fixed his hair back into its usual style, and it's almost a glare. " - it won't change anything."

"Tell that to the civilians in Akzeriuth," Asch snaps. "I bet it makes a difference to them."

Natalia keeps looking around, as though one of you is going to offer her answers. "Please," she says. "Slow down. Are you saying - that Father _wants_ the war?"

No one answers her. You sit down on the rock next to Anise and sigh. "Yeah," you say. "That's how it is."

Maybe you should have let someone else say it, from the horrified look Natalia gives you. Too late.

"Why do you think His Majesty tried so hard to stop you?" Guy asks. "He didn't want you to know."

Asch snorts. "Don't soften it. He didn't want her to _die_." You can't help but flinch. Asch leans against a taller boulder near you, folding his hands into his armpits. "The Score says that a boy of royal blood and hair of red will destroy Akzeriuth, along with himself and everyone in it. Luke, and everyone with him, was sent on a suicide mission. They weren't supposed to come back."

"That's - you're lying," Natalia says. "You have to be. Father wouldn't - he wouldn't send Luke to die!"

Asch tilts his head, which sends some of his bangs back, dripping, onto his forehead. "Well, no, not if he knew. He intended to send _me_."

"Not that he knows there's a difference," you mutter.

Natalia still looks hopelessly confused, so Guy finally takes pity on her. "Asch is the Luke from before the kidnapping," he says. 

"The 'Luke' who was brought back is a replica created by fomicry," Tear adds. "He didn't lose his memories - he didn't have any memories to lose. You can thank my brother for that."

"Just don't call Asch by his birth name," Jade offers cheerfully. "He may well be tempted to live up to his reputation if you do." Guy laughs awkwardly, but Asch actually looks weirdly grateful for the comment.

"Y-yeah," Guy agrees. "Plus it's more than a little confusing, you know? It's bad enough that they look alike."

"I..." Natalia starts. She looks back and forth between you and Asch again, brushing off the bottom hem of her shirt. It's a gesture that works better when she's actually wearing a dress, you think. "I ought to sit down," she says.

"There are still plenty of rocks to go around," Jade says. "I'm afraid that's the best you'll find."

Hesitantly, Natalia nods, and sinks down to a seat on a low, flat stone. "If that's true, then, why - why would Dorian General Grants do such a thing?"

"Because he's a maniac," Asch says, flippantly. "He wants control over my power - the power the Score says will be used to destroy Akzeriuth - and in order to do that, he needs to control me."

"Didn't go over too well," Guy mutters.

Natalia giggles, though it's clearly forced, and holds a hand over her mouth. "No, I - I suppose it wouldn't. You were always so stubborn..."

"That hasn't changed, I assure you," Tear mutters, and this time Natalia's laughter is a little more genuine.

"Wait," Anise says, looking back and forth between you and Asch. "I thought - _Asch_ , you liar! You let me think you were a poor _bastard_!" The way she emphasizes the word makes Natalia look like she's going to get started again, but Asch holds up a hand to stop her.

"...And your point?" he says. "It's safer for me _and_ Luke if no one knows, not that there's much point now. It's not like you don't know about keeping secrets."

His voice goes from almost joking to hard as he speaks, and by the time he gets to _keeping secrets_ , it's almost deadly. Anise flinches back from his gaze, halfway hiding behind you. "I don't know what you're talking about," she says, voice too quiet to be anything but a lie.

You scoot to the side. If Asch does wind up unleashing his temper on her, you don't have any desire to get caught in the middle.

"Don't play dumb," he says. "I know you report to Mohs. So does Ion. He was willing to let you stick around to keep an eye on you, so that he knew _who_ in his staff was getting paid off. I am not. Either you quit sending off reports of our every movement, or you get out of here now. I don't give second chances."

"I..." Anise looks like she's about to cry, but resolutely meets Asch's eyes. "But what about my parents? If I don't send in reports regularly, Mohs will have them thrown out on the streets!"

Asch shrugs. "You've just seen that my family was perfectly willing to send me off to die, because the Score promised them prosperity if they did. I'm the wrong person to talk to."

Guy exhales, slowly. "You can't be responsible for your parents, Anise," he says, tone much gentler than Asch's. "You'll never have a life of your own, otherwise."

Anise stares at her feet, and doesn't answer. After a moment, Jade sighs. "There may yet be a solution," he says, fiddling with his glasses by the frame. At some point, he must have dried them off; he's still holding the handkerchief in his other hand. "There's no reason we can't feed Mohs false reports, at least for a time."

Anise looks at him with hope in her eyes. Tear says, "If he figures it out, he won't be any more forgiving than Asch."

"I'll do it," Anise says quickly. "If I can't protect Ion by staying with him - " She looks at Asch, almost desperate. "There's something he wanted you to do, right? He wouldn't have just agreed to go along with Sync otherwise."

Asch looks at her, sighs, and makes eye contact with Jade. (You don't know how he does that without at least _blinking_. Jade's eyes are creepy even discounting the color.) "Fine, but coming up with fake reports is _your_ job. Thanks for volunteering."

Jade shrugs dramatically and fakes a groan. "Ugh, responsibility. Fine. I suppose I'll manage."

"Thank you, Colonel," Anise says quietly.

You stretch your arms - your clothes are mostly dry, at least, and flexing your muscles makes some of the dried mud flake off. "That still doesn't answer the question," you say. "What are we going to do _now_? I'm guessing it's not going to Akzeriuth."

"No," Asch says. "We're going to Belkend. Ion bought us a chance to move around freely, at least for a while - we need to use it."

You can't exactly argue with that - some part of you is still saying that maybe if you hadn't been so _stupid_ , so useless at fighting, maybe Ion wouldn't have had to use himself as a bargaining chip.

"You're going to track Van's movements, then?" Tear asks. "I remember those reports."

Asch nods. "He's in and out of the laboratories there a lot - the fomicry lab, most likely."

"I'd think he'd be done with the subject by now," Jade says, looking over you and then back to Asch. "He's gotten what he needed out of it."

"He still keeps Dist around for _something_ ," Asch says. "And it's not for the flying chair. I intend to find out what."

Jade just nods, like it was the response he expected. You don't see what the skinny, creepy God-General has to do with fomicry, but, surprisingly, you find that you aren't bothered. 

As much as Asch seems to lord his superior knowledge over people sometimes, he actually slows down to explain things. You can trust that there _is_ an explanation, if you ask him.

Ion told you to trust him to figure out a solution. Well, him and Jade, but you still don't trust Jade very much. Who knows what's going on behind those glasses of his. But Asch - 

Asch doesn't hide what he wants. You aren't sure yet how you feel about it, or his methods for _getting_ it - but you can give him a chance. You owe Ion that much.

Guy says, "Okay, but how are we getting there? We can't exactly go back into Baticul and advertise that we're not _actually_ going to Akzeriuth."

"Of course not," Asch says. "We'll have to walk."

Natalia shoots up from her seat in surprise, jarred loose from whatever she was thinking about. "But that's across Inista Marsh!" she says. "No one's crossed it since the Hod War!"

Asch glances at her. Slowly, a smirk takes over his features. "Since the Hod War, huh?" he repeats, looking _far_ too entertained. "Funny," he continues, waving his hand vaguely in that direction. "Because I'm pretty sure I just did."

You can't help it. You groan. On the other hand, maybe Ion owes _you_ , for putting up with him.

_We'll get you out of there, Ion. I promise. Just hold on for a while, okay?_

**Author's Note:**

> Next: Sync side story, _Advancing Step_ , and Peony side story, _Double-edged_. Advancing Step takes place over the same time period as Forge Sparks, while Double-edged takes place between the latter half of Scabbard up to the next major section of story.
> 
> Following that, Ion major story _Riposte_ and Natalia major story _Smelt and Flux_ , which take place roughly over the same period. Please look forward to it.


End file.
